You see, Jason was my son...and today is his birthday.
Friday the 13th holds an exceptional place in the hearts of horror fans. As one of the originators of the slasher-flick genre, its allure lies not in outstanding writing or acting but in its exaggerated depiction of death at the hands, more often than naught, of the hulking Jason Voorhees. From a harpoon in the eye to a flash-frozen face smash, there’s no method too gruesome for the machete-wielding killer to utilize in his rampage.
Haunting the shores of Crystal Lake for over four decades has left the horror icon open to some hits and misses, however. To celebrate this past Friday the 13th, I thought I’d take the time to review and rank the original ten films in the series (not including the crossover, Freddy vs. Jason, or the 2009 reboot).
Throughout many nightmarish viewing sessions, I’ve learned the intrinsic themes and qualities of a Friday the 13th flick and how often some fail at being that, in part of a good movie overall. So let’s look at the best and the worst of mama’s little boy, Jason Voorhees.
SPOILER ALERT...obviously
10. Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan
Despite its title, our would-be victims don’t even reach Manhattan until the final 40 minutes, not that you can tell for the first 20 of those. This issue was even acknowledged by the director, citing budgetary reasons. It was the most expensive movie in the series at the time, though you would highly question where it all went. It can’t be in the weak SFX, particularly in the less-than-stellar kills (the only “cool” one was Julius getting his head punched off) and their rendition of childhood Jason.
Following his internment to the bottom of Crystal Lake in the previous film, Jason is inexplicably revived by an anchor striking an underwater electrical wire. After killing its teen passengers, Voorhees (somehow) pilots the boat to precisely where a graduating class is going on a cruise towards the Big Apple, continuing his rampage. Some passengers escape to NYC, but his pursuit isn’t stopped until he finally meets his demise in a toxic waste flood within the city’s sewers.
What puts this at the dead bottom for me is the weak characterization. I didn’t care for most of these victims, which is the main priority when making a slasher. There’s not even a lot of sex going on, aside from the opening kill, so Jason’s drive to kill is misplaced. Half-baked character arcs, like with Uncle Charles or Sean, do nothing for the story if only to make the former an asshole you want to see slashed.
And again, the story of Jason attacking a cruise ship alone could’ve been more than enough to hold an audience. The filmmakers’ intentions fell short of what I can tell they were going for, which is a damn shame.
9. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Many fans consider this iteration the worst due to Jason’s physical appearance taking a back seat for some classic demonic possession. After being blown to pieces in an FBI sting operation to rid the Earth of the silent killer finally, the spirit of Jason residing in his malformed heart begins possessing a host of people. His goal: occupy the body of a blood relative to rebirth himself in his original form. Crazy, right?
It’s a bizarre concept that I’m oddly welcoming of. It’s a pretty creative direction, but it doesn’t do anything of substance with it. You’ve got this obsessive bounty hunter, played pretty damn well by Steven Williams, who knows everything about what Jason is and how to kill him for good…and he’s stuck in a jail cell for a good portion of the film. How could you do that?
The opening scene, a wink-and-nod dig to the perverse core of Friday the 13th, was the pinnacle, but everything goes down from there. Crude humor (even for the franchise) and poor acting from other cast members leave a sour feeling in the eyeholes. Jason Goes to Hell‘s delivery of an ending to Jason would’ve been a pretty fantastic finish to the series, even with the promise of a Freddy Krueger crossover. However, even with that finale, it didn’t stop them from creating the next infamous version of Voorhees.
8. Jason X (2001)
This Syfy Original-looking movie is notoriously bad. YouTube film “critics” love to tear this thing apart for its premise (Durr, Jason in Space? They’ve really run outta ideas…). However, it’s higher than the previous two for its fun position as “so camp that it’s endearing”; I’m never made to feel like I need to be taking this too seriously, a necessary quality for the franchise. It revels in the absurdity of everything we see, from the nipple-twisting sex scene to the leather-clad android kicking Jason’s ass (at first).
Putting Jason not just in space but in the far-flung future of 2455 is another commendable attempt to put a breath of fresh air in the series. It’s not out of the realm of thought; the film doesn’t do a terrible job getting me to believe in all that. But despite its high budget, the story feels artificially extended to give the audience more of this concept, but not enough material to do so.
It’s got some pretty sick kills compared to other films this late in the series. That freeze-dried face smash moment is one of my favorite throughout the franchise. The revamped Jason, credited as the “Uber-Jason,” wasn’t terrible looking. It came about at a good moment; if they had turned him all cyborg earlier, there would’ve been lessened stakes as he traversed the ship, killing people in his original form.
It’s not the best of the best, but it’s undoubtedly the best of the bottom of the barrel. It’s decently funny; some killer one-liners that are very aware of their hamminess add to its charming cringe.
7. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
Here’s a good movie that is just a bad Friday the 13th movie. Picking up where The Final Chapter (1984) left us, Tommy Jarvis (more on him further down), now a young man severely traumatized by his previous encounter with Jason Voorhees. But no sooner does he arrive at a halfway house than the bodies start showing up around town, placing suspicion on the last film’s hero. He’s not our only suspect, as the sheriff believes that Jason has somehow come back to life (possible foreshadowing the future method of Voorhees’ appearances).
There’s a reasonable effort here to start something new, as the title suggests the filmmakers wanted to do. The story recalls the ‘whodunnit’ vibe from the first two movies, as the audience tries to surmise whether Jason has returned or if Tommy is acting as his own enemy. I can applaud that but it fails miserably.
The ending reveals that a paramedic took up Jason’s identity after finding out his estranged son was murdered at the house (clip below). Not surprisingly, this was disappointing as audiences had no way of knowing about this detail for such a minor character. It felt like a rip-off, a ‘gotcha’ gag that the audience wasn’t in on.
The script confuses the killer’s motivations, putting the audience in an awkward position once they’re made to think about it too hard. If the paramedic, Roy, wanted revenge on the halfway house he deemed responsible for getting his son murdered, why kill others outside the home, such as the waitress and the neighboring farmer? What was their part in his vengeful killing spree? Once I thought of this, the whole movie fell to the bottom for me.
6. Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Even with the return of Steve Miner, director of Friday the 13th Part 2, this movie stumbles backwards into itself. With uninteresting characters (save for the main female lead) and a stale storyline, Part III fails to make a distinction of itself beyond 3-D cinematography to deliver eye-catching kills and the introduction of Jason’s famed hockey mask.
Our leading lady, Chris, is the only character I felt had an actual presence to the story. Her cliche travel-mates, like the stoner couple, Chuck and Chilli, and the whiny prankster, Shelly, are either an annoying on-screen presence or entirely forgettable. Chris is the only character worth caring about as she was almost a victim of Jason’s a few years before his own killing spree at Crystal Lake. Although she escaped, her story was strong in her need to overcome this fear, almost like a “victim empowerment” storyline. When she recognizes Jason without the mask, she reclaims her power and puts an end to his rampage, taking back control when she felt she had lost it.
Otherwise, there’s not much to go on here. The 3-D effects added a tinge of campy excitement, from the harpoon coming straight at me or the eyeball popped right at the lens. But the kills can’t always save these movies, and the repetitive nature of the writing, down to the rowboat-on-the-lake dream sequence, gives Part III a ‘meh’ from me.
5. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
This is the culmination of the series veering from realism with its supernatural resurrection of Jason in Jason Lives. Our final girl, Tina, uses her gift/curse of psychokinesis to counter Voorhees’ re-animated powerset, making a surprisingly complementary conflict. Those abilities add another level to the film, with Tina’s doctor being so focused on his own goals for them that he ignores the truth when Tina envisions Jason’s killing spree as it happens.
Aside from great kills (my Blu-ray edition didn’t cut the gore; suck it, MPAA) and a pretty well-constructed story, this film also works on themes of repression and guilt. Like what The Final Chapter did for the teen sex themes that define the franchise, The New Blood focuses on the suppressed ‘virgin’ girl whose been restrained her whole life (for her gifts, but you can read into the sex aspect, too) and finally letting go is what saves the day. The final battle at the end made the film; look at this freaking money shot!
I think this film is lower on people’s lists because the widely-known version cut out all the gore. But even considering that factor, I think this was another quality notch in the series. The characters were interesting; I didn’t think they were annoying like in Part III. Kane Hodder does an excellent job as Jason again, portraying a zombie with a murderous drive so effortlessly. It does what Friday the 13th movies have always done: bloody entertainment, apt character/storyline, and an ominous ending of whether Jason will strike again (unfortunately, the film after this is Jason Takes Manhattan, so…yeah).
4. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
I suppose there was only one ‘logical’ path to follow once you kill off the vengeful Pamela Voorhees and need someone to take up her mission for a sequel…I just don’t think it’s cohesive for the series.
Once you look past how Jason could still be alive, given the dream-sequence ending of the last film and the whole motivation for Mrs. Voorhees’ murder spree, you begin to enjoy the movie a lot more. There’s more brutality for the kills when the hulking Jason, hiding his disfigured face with a sack, slashes the latest teenage camp counselors.
The characters are a little more one-dimensional than what we watched previously. The sheer number affects our identification since they can only get so much character exploration. But a couple of characters the movie leaned on were essential to establishing a mythology of Crystal Lake referenced in later films, particularly Paul and Ginny. The ending was particularly memorable, probably one of the most significant “killer confrontations” in any horror movie. The sheer lunacy of tricking this disabled murderer by wearing a sweater is so ‘in-the-vein’ for these low-budget films; you just have to love it.
3. Friday the 13th (1980)
While there is an added benefit to being the first movie in the series and establishing what we can expect from its successors, the film on its own is a whodunnit/slasher ride done right. It has all the makings of a successful horror flick in the 80s, much like Halloween, but outlies itself with the fantastical gore of Tom Savini. This element separated itself from these ‘stalking killer’ movies by doing explicit gore-y death scenes before A Nightmare on Elm Street came around four years later.
The film lures you in with its unassuming camera work, lackadaisically following the sweet and innocent Annie to her doom as an unseen assailant brutally slashes her in the throat. The fact that we have no idea who this killer is, if they’re related to the killer of the counselors we saw in the prologue, is a fantastic set-up from the filmmakers. We’re treated to a well-crafted dynamic between the remaining counselors but are left with no real idea why anyone would be killing them in the first place. Aside from the prophet of doom Crazy Ralph with his ominous warnings, there’s nothing else that lingers in our minds as to why Kevin Bacon gets stabbed through the throat.
Many look at this as a Halloween rip-off because producer Sean Cunningham cites the film as an inspiration to work on this low-budget idea. I read one review that called it “Halloween but in a summer camp,” and I find that grossly exaggerating. There is a charming style behind Friday the 13th‘s themes and methods of showcasing horror entertainment, even if it seems low-quality.
2. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
Given the revitalization it brought, it was hard to place this as the second-best movie in the Friday the 13th series. I mean, making Jason undead should’ve been done from the get-go, right? It’s self-aware for the comedic effect, bringing some style to the needy franchise. It’s a phase any film genre can go through, parody or being self-referential. But this doesn’t go full Scream on us, as we’re still treated to a tonally dark film.
When Tommy Jarvis (seemingly de-canonizing A New Beginning) accidentally resurrects the interned Jason Voorhees, he races against time to put him back in the grave before the zombie returns to Crystal Lake, complete with actual campers this time! While I didn’t hate John Shepherd’s portrayal in the last movie, I think Thom Matthews brings a bizarre but innocent feel to the character as young Corey Feldman did in The Final Chapter.
Tom McLoughlin, the writer and director, crafts a tight story. It didn’t feel like a moment was wasted for some cheesy, ham-fisted line or to catch a peek at a naked tit. We get a good series of events featuring good kills, and tension is surrounding whether or not Tommy will succeed and if he can bring down Jason again. There’s a continuation to the mythology of Jason that surrounds this poor town that we catch a glimpse of in each film. But only in Jason Lives does it feel like this element is utilized to an extent significant for the film.
1. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
If Jason Lives pokes at the comical nature of slasher horror, The Final Chapter prods at the sexual themes intrinsic to these movies. While movies have satirized and explored this essence, this movie takes it pretty seriously. Everything about this film, from the cinematography to the acting, feels like an elevation of the preceding films. This is a true culmination of the production that is Friday the 13th.
While there are stereotypes at play here, they’re subverted satisfyingly. Crispin Glover portrays an awkward guy, fearful of his ability to perform sexually, only to alleviate his fears after having sex with an out-of-his-league hottie. Meanwhile, the big-talker Ted finds himself alone but content as he watches old stag films stoned out of his mind. All these teens, even young Tommy Jervis as he giggles maniacally at watching his neighbors undress, represent the changing landscape of young adult sex-capades.
Tom Savini’s return felt like a saving grace as we get some tremendous prosthetic/SFX work. It’s a return to those protruding, close-your-eyes effects that made the first film so good! The hatchet to Glover’s face, bashing that dude’s head into the shower tile; all of it was just done so…Savini-like! And that reveal of Jason’s deformed face? My god, what a horrific spectacle that only a master could bring to life.
I applaud how this film could serve as the ending to it all. Jason’s finally dead, his mission reached a peak with this group of teens, and the end was such a show-stopping tease for what we might never see. Feldman’s disturbing glance into the camera, freeze-framed *chef’s kiss* What a finale they had! It’s a send-off that went uncelebrated by many.
I need a palette cleanser, to be honest. This was exhausting. I knocked these out in like a weekend, and need to watch something completely different from these.
Let me know what you think! Was I wrong about a certain film? How does your ranking compare to mine? Comment below or email me a scatching criticism telling me I don’t know anything about the art/masterpieces that is the Friday the 13th franchise. I dare you!
